From Workplace Pain to Purpose (Part 1)

 From Workplace Pain to Purpose

Last time, I told you who I am today. Now, let me take you back to where it all started.

Before I became self-employed, I worked in a place I will not name for now, and I will also keep my job title private. What I will say is this: I have always loved working with people and helping them achieve their goals. I truly believe everyone has the right to become who they want to be and to live a happy, fulfilling life.

I got on well with everyone, or at least I thought I did. I followed the rules. I did what was expected of me. But there was one thing I did not know: the rules for Black people were different from the rules for White people.

That shocked me. The treatment I experienced as a Black woman in the UK was completely different from being a Black woman in the Caribbean. To sum it up in a few words, the way I was treated was very mean. I know some readers may want me to go into more detail, but I believe that conversation is better had in a setting where people can ask questions, and I can answer as openly as possible. One day, I will do just that.

What I knew then, and what I know even more strongly now, is that I deserved better. I could not build my future in a place where I was not valued. So, I left.

At the same time, I had noticed how often people complained of back, knee, and joint pain, muscular aches, and general discomfort. I wanted to help. That desire led me to study and become a self-employed sports massage therapist.

Was I scared? Absolutely. I was nervous too. Every doubt you can think of came flooding in: What if I am not good enough? What if I fail? What happens if I become ill? How will I get paid? What about holiday pay? What about tax? And that was only the beginning of the list.

But guess what? I did it anyway. I told myself, “If it does not work, at least I will have gained the knowledge of how to set up a business.”

Whenever I have to make a tough decision, I run myself a hot bath, light a candle, lie back, close my eyes, pray, and then pause to think. That is where I asked myself: What should be the first step, and what should be the last step, in getting my sports massage business started?

Then the ideas started flowing. I rushed out of the bath, grabbed a book and a pen, and began writing my business plan. I wrote down everything, from the business name, Rehab Unknot Remedial and Sport Massage Therapist, which later became Therapist to Specialist, to how I would find my first client.

From then on, whenever I had another tough decision to make, I made sure my planning book and pencil were right next to the bath.

Soon, I had given birth to my business, and my first client was booked. 

Leading up to that appointment, I was extremely nervous, and the doubts returned. Thoughts rushed in, trying hard to stop me from doing the fantastic job I knew I could do.

Then the day arrived. I met my client and greeted him with the biggest smile. I was honest and told him he was my very first client. I also let him know that I welcomed any constructive feedback he had.

In that moment, I realised something about myself: when nervousness tries to take over, I put on a big, bright smile. And that smile became even bigger because I genuinely loved the work.

At the end of the treatment, the client gave me thoughtful feedback. During the first month of business, clients began calling me “magic hands” and “healing hands.” I honestly did not know what to do with compliments like that. My reply was always, “Really? I just enjoy what I do.”

That business became my whole world for 20 years, along with being a mother.

Over those years, my body was trying to communicate with me. It was telling me to rest, to take breaks, and to look after myself better. 

But I did not listen. My stubbornness allowed past traumas from physical abuse and grief to show up in my body.

This was something I hid from everyone. I hid the pain behind my big smile and overworked to avoid thinking about it. I believe that at the time, if I became super busy, I would not have time to think about past or present hurt.

I did not get the right help at the right time. Instead, I created a coping mechanism: work harder, stay busy, keep smiling, and do not stop long enough to feel the hurt.

That was a very bad idea.

See Part 2 to find out why.

Your new blogger,
Keon