Healing From Trauma and Abuse (Part 3)

Healing From Trauma and Abuse

Content note: this post discusses past abuse. Please take care while reading, and skip ahead if you need to.

Deep emotional pain can cause many of us to close our hearts to everyone. I remember feeling a brief sense of anticipation about doing that myself. But deep down, I knew it was not right. Closing my heart would mean punishing others and myself for the hurt inflicted by someone else. That choice would only keep me in bondage.

So I started praying, asking God to help me heal and take the pain away. In that moment, I heard in my spirit that I should stay open and shower everyone with love. I paused and opened my eyes. That was the moment I started to feel free — free from such deep hurt.

I love people, and I love helping people, and I will continue to do this. But trauma caused by racial and physical abuse made it difficult for me to fully accept and love myself. It broke something in me — a quiet belief that I wasn't worth loving, not even by myself. That was when I realised I needed some coaching and counselling sessions, which I received.

The therapy I received used a person-centred approach. Through it, I learnt more about myself: how deeply I had been hurting, how hard I had found it to love myself, and slowly, how I could begin to love myself again. It didn't happen overnight. It has been a journey — some days harder than others — but I can wholeheartedly say: I am healed.

That is why I can now talk about it, share my journey with the world, and help give others hope who may believe there is no hope for healing. There is hope. Healing is possible.

I benefited a lot from having coaching sessions. And it is because of this that I have studied and become a certified Life Coach. As a Coach, I have helped and continue to help people. This is the same reason I pursued studies in Counselling, Psychology, and Theology: to understand people, gain the tools to support them, and walk alongside them with compassion.

When I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the first thing I did was to Google the meaning, which states that "physical and emotional stress can be potential trigger factors for this illness. Major life stressors, trauma, surgery, or physical injury may act as catalysts." Oops, I had experienced all of these.

The abuse happened just over 20 years ago, and I carried that trauma for many years before seeking professional help. My advice to you is this: if you, or anyone you know, has suffered any form of abuse, please get help as soon as possible. And if you are still in an abusive relationship or situation, please, please get out and seek support now!

For me, it was a knock on the door from a police officer that prevented a knife from piercing through me. When an abuser is filled with rage, they can kill you. Please do not wait. Your life matters.

I am no longer in an abusive relationship, and I have not been for over 20 years. But I believe the trauma I carried for so long contributed to the illness I now live with.

I am safe. I am okay. What I need to do now is continue learning more about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and how to pace myself. With this illness, a good day means loving yourself every day.

See Part 4 to learn how Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has changed my whole life.

Your new blogger,

Keon